Who Says You Can’t Go Home?

If you’re like me, you immediately heard Bon Jovi in your head when you read the title of this post. If not, we might have to stage an intervention!! Ironically, I heard this song last week as I traveled to my hometown in Tennessee for the funeral of my beloved uncle. This was the first time I had been away from my little “safety bubble” since having my weight loss surgery. Even though I methodically planned and prepped for this trip, I was shocked at how hard it was to keep from falling into the food comforts of HOME!

My first step in preparation for the 10 hour drive south was to pack enough protein-filled snacks and drinks so I did not have to purchase food along the way. Still being in the trial-and-error phase when it comes to food, there is always a chance that something is not going to settle well or is going to cause dumping. I definitely did not want to rely on unhealthy fast food options on the road and then have problems. Also, I try not to introduce any “new” foods that I have not eaten since surgery unless I am going to be home in case there are any issues. So I took time to pack a small cooler with cheese sticks, protein bars, beef jerky, fruit, and protein water for the journey. Since I did not stop for food and only had to stop once for gas, I made the drive efficiently and arrived in Tennessee having already reached my protein goal for the day. WIN!

I thoroughly enjoy any chance I have to go home to the mountains of East Tennessee. My entire family and extended family is there…my precious mom (the post picture is her home where I grew up), my amazing sister and her amazing tribe, and my husband’s incredible family. I get to enjoy open-ended time with the people that I hold dearest in my heart. We stay up late in conversation, eat yummy foods, sleep in, and visit over coffee until the late morning or even early afternoon. Even though this trip was made under sad circumstances, I knew I would be spending time with my precious aunt, my cousins, their children and grandchildren. I grew up very close to my extended family, but life happened and we are now spread out in different areas of the country. We haven’t seen each other in many years and, as my favorite brother-in-law said during the funeral service, this was going to be a “sweet and bitter time.”

Like I have stated in a previous post, I often don’t function well in complete freedom. Even though I am still reintroducing foods following surgery, I am cleared to eat anything that falls into my bariatric guidelines. The rules following gastric bypass really just promote eating proteins first, avoiding as many carbohydrates and sugars as possible to reduce risk of dumping, and continuing to get 64 ounces of liquids in each day. I knew this would be possible to achieve while in Tennessee and I did not have to worry about a certain diet or type of food. I just needed to gauge quantity and stick to my lean meats, veggies, and fruits which I had been able to do within my “safety bubble” relatively easily. What I did not anticipate was how much I would crave the comfort foods of home.

I wish everyone could experience my family at least once. They are a loving and nurturing group who can make any stranger feel part of the inner circle in no time. Part of that nurturing has always come in the form of delicious food and good hot coffee. Don’t misunderstand where I’m going here…this is a good thing I do not want any of this to change. The welcoming love that my family demonstrates to everyone that comes through their doors is cherished and admired by me and many others. My family loves BIG and I would not trade that for anything. I always rush to get there and then I always dread to leave. During this visit, I was blessed to spend sweet time with family that i have missed dearly and we got to love on each other after many years apart. Add in the emotions of the time, and I found myself reaching for foods that I don’t even crave anymore. I quickly realized that I am still very much an emotional eater and will have to proactively prepare for that in any situation, not just family visits.

In addition to the valuable lesson that I may always battle my emotional eating demon, I did not realize how much I had turned location-specific foods into ritualistic habits that went along with my visits. In the past, upon my arrival to my mom’s home in Tennessee, I would declare that my first evening meal would consist of my favorite Japanese takeout. There were always enough leftovers that I would also enjoy Japanese for breakfast the following morning. At some point later in my stay, we would visit the local favorite burger/hot dog/chipped ham/sweet tea drive-thru. Just so you understand the nostalgia here, this local fast food joint is the highlight of return home visits for most high school graduates that have moved away in the past 30 years. This restaurant is legendary and the subject of many social media posts during summers and holidays. On my way out of town to start my 10 hour drive north, I would stop at this same drive-thru to pick up a 32 ounce sweet tea and a large serving of their delicious cheddar rounds for the road. This had been my routine for at least the past decade.

I wouldn’t change anything about my recent visit home. I got to celebrate my uncle’s wonderfully long life, and I will treasure this time spent with my family. My sister, cousins, and I relished our visit as adults and realized that we have finally outgrown the “kids’ table”. That table has now been replenished with a beautiful younger generation who is making their own impact in this world and in their own families. I was blessed to get a peak into their lives and I look forward to the next time we can see each other. I also learned valuable lessons that I hope will enable me to continue this bariatric journey with success. For me, the sweetness of it all far outweighed the bitterness.

I’ll leave you with a quote that has become a kind of anthem for me during this journey. I hope it means something to you as well. I am also including the Bon Jovi .mp3 from which this post got it’s name in case you need an introduction to one of the best bands of all time (can we even still be friends?).

Old habits die hard, and if you’re not careful, the person you used to be can overtake the person you’re trying to become.

Lecrea

Until next time…all my love.